Remember these guys?
I’m not a big TV watcher, with the exception of sporting events and the Discovery Channel (which, by far, has the best programming lineup on cable or network,) but I did tune in last night to watch the reinvention of one of my favorite childhood shows, American Gladiators. I didn’t really have high expectations, given that they tried to do this before- anyone remember Battledome?
Anyways, I give the new AG mixed ratings, even thought I admittedly only watched the first hour in full. Let’s break it down by looking at four key components of the show: Sports action, Commentary, Gladiators/Contestants, and Entertainment.
Sports Action- I thought they did a good job with the events. I was happy that they brought back a lot of the classics (Joust, Hang Tough, The Wall, Gauntlet, Powerball, Assault.) Conducting Hang Tough and Joust over water was a nice touch. I wasn’t too fond of the Eliminator, as it seemed to be poorly laid out, and there were some really strange segments. For example, I didn’t really get the barrel roll part, because if it were me I would just fall off intentionally and save myself the dizziness. Same thing with the upper-body bicycle, putting it after the cargo net climb was just brutal. The female contestants didn’t even try and just jumped down into the pit. However, while the Eliminator definitely wasn’t my favorite event, it did produce some highly entertaining moments, which I will discuss later.
Commentary- I was highly disappointed with this aspect of the show. I guess I should have seen it coming. The choice of Hulk Hogan over a legitimate former athlete like Larry Csonka (Don’t get me started on the “Professional wrestlers are athletes, too,” argument) definitely undermined the validity of the show as an athletic competition from the beginning. Everything out of Hogan’s, Layla Ali’s and even the contestants’ mouths seemed scripted, whereas in the original, the interviews always seemed genuine and the events were called in traditional play-by-play fashion with color commentary.
Gladiators/Contestants- Mixed feelings. As for the contenders, it seemed like they were just trying to capture market segments (Professional skater vs. a NY firefighter- seriously?) rather than trying to create the best possible matchups. The female contenders, at least in the first hour of the show, could barely defend themselves, aside from one notable Joust, to be discussed further.
For the gladiators, I’m going to have to say that my favorite was Wolf, even though the howling was a bit over the top. He was pretty nasty at Hang Tough, the ring-swinging event, which I always thought was one of the hardest events. For the most part, the male gladiators had the arrogant swagger of those from the original show.
It was obvious that they tried to go a different direction with the female gladiators. I remember thinking that the one, Crush, was pretty hot. Then I saw her get pummeled in the Joust. She was sent to her knees while the contender brought the stick down on her head again and again. It was hysterical. I guess my point is that the female gladiators shouldn’t be hot, and they shouldn’t provoke laughter. They should be ‘roided up, androgynous, and intimidating.
Entertainment- Even with pretty legit. sports action, the original show wouldn’t have been so entertaining without the over-the-top production and gladiator antics. I remember how they used to show the gladiators backstage before they rolled to commercials. They were constantly lifting in between events (mostly leg extensions and bicep curls) and flexing in front of mirrors. It seems so much funnier now. While I thought that the new AG was way too saturated with flashy production, it was extremely high on the unintentional comedy scale. I laughed for ten minutes straight during the first Eliminator, when a female contender who had built a huge lead was trying to get up the reverse treadmill at the end and was left hanging onto the rope at the top, too tired to move. She was literally being dragged-in-place, for like ten minutes. At the same time, the contender who basically walked through the entire course slowly and exhaustingly passed her.
Final Conclusion- I would still watch reruns of the original over the new show. Maybe its childhood nostalgia, but I think it was just better.
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